Of Gorillas, Soup & Ellens
Prologue
And we’re back. Since last we spoke, I edited and mixed a very cool documentary about the Penn South Cooperative (they make their own electricity!) in NYC and spent even more time on the road with many famous and soon-to-be-famous country music stars. I was in and out of Nashville like a bachelorette party on a Friday night on lower Broadway. If you don’t know what that means, then you haven’t been to NashVegas recently. It’s a Kid Rock versus Blake Shelton four-story hot-chicken assault on the senses.
Anyway, lots of strange and beguiling hospitality adventures were had, all of which you will read at some point, but here’s a sneak peak from our final sojourn to Tonasket, Washington:
This morning I peered behind the curtain. being one of the first people into the breakfast room, I went straight for the Nescafe machine but lo and behold - it was being serviced. And that’s when I saw what’s really going on, like a dystopian future come to life. True to its roots, the whole shebang is just filled with multiple containers of powdered materials. Powdered milk, powdered cocoa, powdered espresso. It was both fascinating and depressing and the irony was not lost on me; an instant-fancy-coffee robot. As I considered the implications of this knowledge on my next maneuver, I observed a power line worker dressed in a caution yellow vest eating scrambled eggs. On the table in front of him was a hardcover library copy of “Poems, Prose and Stories” by Alexander Solzhenitsyn. This must be some kind of utopia, I thought. And then I grabbed a paper cup and hit “cappuccino.” It was delicious.
Speaking of eating on the road, did everyone catch the Red Lobster news? I must confess that I’ve actually never eaten at one of these; I guess I always thought it was just a matter of time. But no, we’re all hanging by a thread. So, seize the day, my friends. Do the things. Go to the places. Tell the people you love how much they mean to you. And eat the lobster.
And now, another entry from the whole Ellen/Gorilla saga… I swear we’ll get to the top of this mountain yet!
Project: Saving the Gorillas: Ellen’s Next Adventure
Cast of Characters:
Abbie - Director
Billie - Producer
Mike - DP
Ted - Cam Op/AC
Ani - AC
Craig - EP
June 05, 2022
Knuckles Con Carne
My alarm went off and I had no idea where I was, who I was or what I was. Then it started to come back. I'm in Rwanda, it's 5:30 in the morning. It's still dark out. And we are going on another trek. Batteries, water, drybags, hat, sunscreen, picaridin repellant... Check and check. Then I loaded into the dining room and waited. And waited. I had pre-ordered two shelled hard-boiled eggs and a green tea for 6:00 AM. Alas... So then I had to scramble to hook up with the local mixer, Safali, who is awesome, and get into the truck sans brekkie. As we were pulling out, someone handed us two paper bags - was this the breakfast? In one was a Spanish omelet. In the other was two hard-boiled eggs, shells on, and a sliced up avocado. Well, you know how I feel about avocado. So, like a primate, I ate the Spanish omelet with my bare hands. A nice sit-down meal.
After a quick visit to the park HQ, we loaded up with Augustin and went to Singita to meet up with the Ellen trek. Out in the fields, the approach to the protected areas was bucolic. Over rolling fields of fallow cropland, Mike and I raced ahead and captured the comic stylings of Andy while Tara and Augustin stayed on point. The weather was perfect, no rain, cloud cover, and a cool breeze every now and then.
Once inside the park, we only hiked for about twenty minutes before we linked up with the trackers, donned our masks and went in to see the gorillas. Well, this was a welcome surprise to me and Mike, after the rainy slog we endured the last time. But there they were - a whole family. The silverback was napping hard while the females were tending to the kids and the juveniles were jumping around, full of energy. I saw two young ones wrestling with each other, over and over and over again and I thought of my boys, constantly on top of each other.
Then we moved up a bit and there was a mommy and her one-month-old baby gorilla. It was captivating. It was if everyone was placed under a spell. There before us was our origin of humanity, of love, of consciousness. The mother was gently cleaning the eyes of her baby, her large fingers working delicately to remove debris. Then the baby opened its eyes, stretched, and we could all see something of ourselves in there. Our fragility, our vulnerability, it was all on display. Then a young one got interested in my boom, approaching it and then retreating.
After about an hour, we moved along, despite the silverback still not getting up and moving the troupe, and Andy claiming that he paid for the "ninety-minute experience." At the bottom of the mountain, Ellen shared thoughts about what we had just witnessed. Michael claimed it was a 2/10 experience. 2 for effort, 10 for quality. I agree. Then we dropped off at the Singita where hot towels awaited those who were staying there. Mike and I ate those two hard-boiled eggs from breakfast on the way home.
Back at ol' Amarembo, Mike and I decompressed and then joined the rest of the crew for lunch. I've never had so much soup in my life. Twice a day, every day. Is that healthy? I don't know but I do know that I like cauliflower soup with black pepper. It had a gentle and focused flavor, with a haunting afterglow of cloves. Anii had a roll that was as hard as a stone and he even knocked it against his plate to show us. But while the soup was tasty, the "Chinese and Mongolian Chicken" thing was a misnomer on at least six levels. Disregarding the complete affront to Asian culture, the chicken was surprisingly uncontaminated by actual meat. That is to say, my plate was built upon a serving of very tasty fried rice, topped with bones and garnished with cilantro. Mike thought he was given the spine and the heart. Okay, there was some meat in there, and maybe I'm just an ugly American, and I'm sure they're trying hard in the kitchen, but the ratio was off, in my opinion. Anii confirmed my feelings when he told me he looked up what Mongolian chicken was supposed to look like and was disappointed with what he received. So it's not just me.
Over at Singita, where I can surely bet they did not have a bony lunch, Andy Lassner sat down for his interview. He clocked 20 years with Ellen. He just loves daytime TV; he needs the new thing every day. According to him, Ellen is exactly who you think she is and she is a change-maker. She puts her whole heart into it. What’s next for Andy? Producing a Jennifer Hudson show for Warner Brothers. Last night, at the campus, was an exhale for Ellen. As for the gorillas, he cared because Ellen cared. But now, after the trek, he’s changed.
Back at our hotel, parts of dinner were like parts two and three of lunch. I'm too tired to describe it all, but there was pork that was ninety percent knuckle, ten percent fat. Didn't matter - Joe Woods made it back safely after an epic trek with Craig. Huzzah!
June 06, 2022
Everyone Is Ellen
We rose early again, but when I opened the door of my hut I saw that the skies were clear. Would it be a could-less day for my and Mike's final trek? I breathed deeply and took in a pungent, background smell of cooking oil, a slight pine aroma, and nature's scent in the morning. In the distance, I saw the haze burning off the mountaintops, but the haze in my brain was still hanging low by the time I maneuvered to the breakfast buffet in the dining room. I was thoroughly flummoxed by the folded-in-half pancakes in the chafing tray as I thought they were omelets. Okay, they aren't eggs - but I ordered an omelet anyway. So confusing! Once again, it was a bit of a dine-and-dash, but duty was calling!
After the usual roundup at the Park HQ, we rode with Augustin back to Singita and he gave us the good news - the gorillas were close by, the trackers were with them, and he knew exactly where to guide us. On the way I could have sworn I heard bagpipes playing in town. Mike conjectured that the same type of instrument could be found in these parts and then said something about "The Last King Of Scotland." And then we got another update - rocket attacks were happening in Congo, on the other side of the volcano.
Then we loaded in the rest of our group and made our way up to our entrance. Along the way I noticed a very long trench was being dug all the way up to the mountain, passing in front of everyone's house. Turns out it's some kind of fiber optic cable.. Likely for another lodge to be built.
Once on the trek, we went "over the wall" and began to head toward our gorilla family. At some point, after wriggling through a bamboo tunnel, I heard voices up ahead. When we turned the corner my eyes were caught by a royal blue something. I thought oh, here are the trackers already, but as I got closer I saw that it was another tour group, and the blue thing was a woman in a crisp western shirt and an immaculate straw cowboy hat. As I tried to put the pieces together in my head, I pressed record on the mixer so as to capture the scene unfolding - a woman, also named Ellen, telling our Ellen that she was the reason she came here! Ellen 2 then said that she wrote Ellen 1 an email every Monday, but never got a response. No matter now, though. In fact, why bother to go see the gorillas now, her friend suggested, they got to see Ellen!
Later on, we did indeed see more gorillas. We observed "Big Ben," a balding silverback, and then another couple of them as we followed and got ahead of the family. There was much vertical ascension amid fifteen-foot-tall stinging nettles and thick breaks of bamboo. The trackers slashed and hacked a path for us, and we pressed on until we got a spot where the gorillas came right to us, sat down, and started eating. And when they were done, they went on their way. This is the forest. This is the jungle. We are but apes with driver's licenses.
On the way back to the vehicles, Ellen helped a sheep get untangled from its rope, and then at the bottom, we followed her into the hut of a local woman. Inside we saw the bare manner in which so many of the people we have passed each say are living. A few utensils. An open fire for cooking. A bucket of potatoes. The hard ground for sleeping. Not enough money to buy soap to clean her child's uniform for school that day. It was eye-opening and as we left, Ellen changed the woman's life.
We almost had lunch at Amarembo but were called over to the campus instead. And thank goodness because for once I had a large and glorious salad instead of a meat-heavy sleep-inducing three-course meal for lunch. My "Green Superfood" salad was glorious - It was vibrant, earthy, and fresh - full of quinoa, mint, apples, and greens. I felt like a man coming up for air after being submerged for days.
Then we went back to Singita for a few scenes and interviews. Jay and Ellen talked about purpose and being present. Jay offered to license his amazing photos to Discovery. Michael has a voice like a velvet glove cast in iron. I'd listen to him read the phonebook.
And then we were done. Dinner back home was a very tasty lamb curry. Anii, however, was incensed that his order was not delivered correctly. Too bad for him - but I got to taste "Masala Chips."
Parting Thought
“Where your fear is, there is your task.”
- Carl Jung
LATE BREAKING NEWS
Flavor Flav is maybe going to SAVE Red Lobster?